Tonight a new series of documentaries was introduced called, ‘My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding’ that explores the in’s and out’s of the secret society of British gypsies, which are often called travellers.
UK gypsies live on the outside of society and there are more than 300,000 travellers living in the Britain. Many are Irish or Roma. Their biggest, which will be explored in this series, are the milestones in life where modern and ancient fashions collide. Thelma Madine is the coveted dressmaker in this culture. Each bride approaches her wanting a dress bigger than any she’s ever created, no matter the cost or weight of the dress. Yes, I said weight! Little Margaretha went to Thelma for her first communion dress, which is another rite of passage that is done up huge in gypsy culture, right down to the huge dress which had more than 500 yards of pink netting and more than 5,000 crystals. This seven-year old wore a dress than weighed more than she did, and yes, to a communion!! Sixteen-year old Josie, getting married to 19-year old Swanley, had her dress created with Thelma, too. Her dress weighed more than 70 pounds and included a thigh high opening in the front. Not to worry, she ditched the bundle of tulle after the traditional cake cutting so she could boogie down at her reception.
An average of a bride is 17, but the average age for an engagement outfit is 14 years old. It is something that gypsy girls dream about from the time they are young. They are bred to get married and be housewives. There are several strong felt traditions in their culture that are different from those in America. They consider it to be the man’s job to go out to earn money.
While shopping for furnishings with her fiancé’, Josie and Swanley were accompanied by his mom. Josie was pulled out of school at age 11 to help take care of her eight younger siblings and to help take care of the home. Traveller girls can’t be seen alone in public, so Josie shops with her sisters and cousins. This is a safeguard to protect the girls’ reputation. Girls definitely aren’t allowed to approach guys and have to report in to help preserve their reputation. Girls are also not allowed to drink alcohol until they’re married.
Traditions are set up in the gypsy culture so there is no sex before marriage (gasp, imagine that??!! Tongue in cheek), yet the ladies dress in very provocative ways, almost mimicking prostitutes.
In looking for a guy, ladies have to travel in pairs, at minimum, and are not supposed to approach the guys. Two friends of Josie’s, Cheyenne and Montana, were looking for a dress to impress a guy at the (sound familiar?) and Cheyene buys a new wedding for every wedding they attend. Cheyenne has spent as much as $500 for one of the 15 weddings she has attended this year.
Margaretha arrived at her communion in a stretch limo. To get in the spirit of communion, “she grooved with her friends to dance music while drinking non-alcoholic cider”.
All in all I can understand why this show was a hit in Britain, mainly because those living in the UK likely see this culture on a regular basis, but its shrouded in such secrecy, the general UK population likely knows little about this sub-culture and its strict lifestyle and unique traditions.
Will it be a hit in the US where gypsies are not as prevalent? Only time will tell, but whatever the case, we are a society that likes to judge other people for the differences they have in their lives. While I would not have been caught dead wearing a dress like Josie wore (it simply wasn’t practical) I am left admiring the tradition of remaining a virgin till married. Of course I realize that just because it’s the tradition doesn’t mean everyone, or even a fraction, of the traveller culture follow that tradition, but these highlighted on the show said that was the way of their life and I admire it! I also admired that the daughters live with their family till their married, of course I’m not particularly understanding the belief behind getting the kids married off so young, but if it’s their tradition, that means it wasn’t just established this year! It has been in success for many years, apparently.
Would I watch this show again? Absolutely! I found the whole culture fascinating. I am interested in finding out why they are nicknamed travellers when it appears that many live a stationary lifestyle. I wonder what the percentage of stationary gypsies versus nomadic type is. It seems as if these people have the same negative connotation that Americas sometimes use on people who live in trailers and both are wrong!
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